A potential cure for the new epidemic

The average person is pulled in every direction—a byproduct of their surroundings, simply unable to push back, like a puppet on a string. We’re slaves to our immediate boredom-induced whims. At work or at home, with family or friends around, we simply cannot not peak at our phones especially when we’re feeling down, tired, bored, hungry. We seek to escape, unconsciously addicted to wanting something else other than what is—aimed to extinguish any and every inconvenience.
Even though pointing fingers is a nasty business, it would be even nastier not to address the elephant in the room: a society of comfort.

If you’re reading this you probably have a pretty comfortable life. From what you eat—manufactured in a lab by food scientists to hijack and exploit your taste buds—to what you feed your brain at every scroll on your phone via apps designed to be as addictive as gambling.
Newsflash: it wasn’t always like this. Our ancestors didn’t have to think hard about where to pencil in exercise in their busy schedules. They were too busy hunting, chewing hard stuff, and getting dirty. Survival was their exercise. They didn’t struggle to make friends and develop relationships. They were too busy being part of a tribe and doing their part, whether they liked their tribe or not, it kept them alive.
Needless to say, we’ve gotten pretty good at not dying. No need to hunt, harvest crops from dawn until dark, or make our clothes and utensils, to name a few. Boxed in comfortable little compartments—fire at the spark of a button, canned and frozen meals to last ages, cozy warm water at the twist of a shiny nob, endless entertainment, instant meals delivered at the tap of a button right at your door. Too hot or too cold? Bah, we’ve got our temperature-altering devices for that. Need some thrill in your life? Amazon Prime delivers novelty; happiness at your door the very next day (that fades away faster than it took you to order the thing). Craving friendship and connection? Not a problem! We’ve got “social” media to emphasize how lame our lives are in comparison to everyone else.
Oh, and don’t forget the memes, of course. Want to satisfy that instinct of procreation? Nowadays, it’s done through a handheld device. A smorgasbord of all the mates you want, custom features, all at your fingertips, you can’t help but feel like modern-day Genghis Khan. Then, reality kicks in. You realize you’re not Genghis Khan, bummer. Well, fret not, my dear reader, for Silicon Valley’s got you covered here, too. Tinder, to swipe your way to the love of your life!
Anyway, not bad, aye? Not even in the collective imagination of all the emperors, kings, and queens of old would they have been able to imagine how most of us live more comfortable, effortless lives than all of them combined.
As the song goes, “Not bad for a race of demented monkeys, from a cave to a city to a permanent party…”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful and remarkably lucky to be alive in this time; I wouldn’t want to trade spots with any old king.  Alas, with all progress and evolution, there’s a price to be paid. We’ve become so comfortable that, paradoxically, it’s making us miserable.

So, with all this doom and gloom, what’s to be done? As I said at the start, we’re living in a comfort-centered society, but are we just gonna point fingers, complain, and be whiny babies?

That’s right, you can’t change society, but you can change yourself. No one can take that away from you.

Anyway, here’s what I propose: S.E.L.F.

Step one: Seek

Rule #1 in the Buddhist handbook: Life is suffering. Of course, not 100% of it is suffering, but most of it is. I mean, if you’re alive, your default state is that of craving and desire. Not long after that desire is met, you want something else. So, if to live is to suffer, why not try to be a step ahead of the suffering? I mean, you can’t escape it anyway. You’re going to come across it—not a matter of if but when—you might as well Seek it and find it before it finds you! It’s not some weird masochist flex. It’s a way to train the getting comfortable with being uncomfortable muscle. For example, first thing in the morning, Seek discomfort by going for a jog, a cold shower, or anything your comfortable little self would shy away from. Something I like to tell myself before I do the thing is, “This is me. This is what I do. I seek discomfort. I find it before it finds me.” Yeah, it's a bit cringy, but it helps me lace up for a run and get in the cold shower. Find what works for you.

Step two: Embrace

Okay, so you got one step ahead. You went after discomfort and you found it. Now embrace it. It’s a beautiful thing when you think about it. If to live is to suffer as Buddhist rule #1 states, then by embracing suffering and discomfort, by default, you’re embracing what it’s synonymous with—life itself. And, if we tie this back to the comfort crisis we’re going through, what better antidote than this?

Step three: Love your fate (Amor Fati)

You can write 12 books about this, so I’ll keep it short. Amor Fati means the love of one’s fate or current circumstances. To not want things to be any other way than what they are.

In other words, after seeking, finding, and embracing discomfort, there will be an outcome. That outcome will be the irrefutable truth of your present. Be it “good” or “bad”, you must learn to love it. Sure, you can complain and curse your fate, but let’s see where that takes you. After all, you can argue with reality til you’re blue in the face, but in the end, reality will always come out on top with a whopping rate of 100% of the time. If that’s so, then might as well love it—the practice of a lifetime, so take your time.

Step four: Flourish

If you think about it, there’s no universal definition of happiness. We just can’t seem to agree on something. One thing we can agree on is that most spend their whole lives in pursuit of it, yet not many seem to reach it. Maybe it’s because it’s so hard to define. That said, there’s a word I like much more than happiness. In positive psychology, flourishing is a state reached by pursuing and engaging with the peaks and valleys of life, which paves the way to a life of joy via the overcoming of challenges through living in alignment with one’s character and virtue, or as the Greeks called it, Eudaimonia. In other words, it’s your one-way ticket to the good life.

To conclude, most of us are extremely lucky to be alive in such a technologically advanced era that has put so much free time in our hands. Unfortunately, we have not been very good at using all this free time in a fruitful manner. We’ve gotten so good at not dying that we’ve forgotten how to live. I mean, when was the last time you truly felt alive? Not just there, but alive, like a blazing fire—pushing your limits, facing your fears, flourishing? Sure, our ancestors may have had it rough, but at least they knew what they were made of. They were forged in the fires of hardship. Us? We’re melting in the warmth of convenience. It’s time to push back, and one way to do that is by following SELF. Seek discomfort, Embrace discomfort, and Love your fate, whatever the outcome. Repeat that enough times and you shall Flourish = a good life.