Peace from a firm power of judgment

I often feel stuck on an endless, grownups-only rollercoaster of responsibilities and a never-ending to-do list; emotions and thoughts jerking me all around. Today, optimistic and clear-headed. Tomorrow, caught in a whirlwind of doubt, helplessness, and confusion. If you’re anything like me, you know that this emotional turbulence is pretty exhausting.
I mean, as a kid, I couldn't wait to become an adult.
I thought…

“Wow, look at all these tall people talking about things I don’t understand, laughing really loudly. They have money to buy whatever they want. They have cars to go wherever they want. And best of all, they don’t have to go to school. Oh man, I can’t wait ‘til I’m a grown-up!”

Oh, little me from the past. How naive. But how could you not have been? Anyhow, here we are. All grown up. The years really crept up and this whole adult thing isn’t what most of us expected. Sleepless nights, and restless days that lead to reckless actions, and then comes regret. You’ve gone through pain and misfortune. You’ve faced things you don’t understand and come across obstacles you couldn’t overcome. And even if you were one of the lucky few who had it real good, even then, something feels off. “I don’t know,” you may think to yourself. “I have it all, but it feels like something’s missing”. Riddle me this, indeed.

To this riddle of uncertainty and confusion in adulthood, it seems to me that what is missing is a sense of tranquility in each of the steps we take. Tranquility that comes from living a life that is authentic, genuine, and simply feels right to you, even if it doesn’t to others. Calm from giving not much more than a moment’s notice to your family’s frowning eyes, or your friend’s weirded out face, or society’s standards; saying yes to your truest, deepest desires, and putting aside those angsty, sleepless nights in which you endlessly wonder, “What if they’re right?”

On his essays on tranquility, Seneca uses a very interesting Greek word to paint the picture for precisely what we lack nowadays: Euthymia, which he describes as,

Easier said than done, of course. I mean, this isn’t just about getting a nice, fuzzy, warm feeling; it’s about cultivating a deep, unshakeable sense of inner calm—a tranquility that stands firm against the scary and awfully bamboozling winds of being alive in the 21st century. But how the hell do you cultivate such a thing? How does one exercise “Euthymia”?

The Battle Against Common Opinion

In today’s world, more than ever before I’d say, we’re bombarded with shoulds, as we always have. The difference is that it used to be cut and dry, for we only had to deal with the shoulds of our immediate circle of family and friends, and of course society and culture- to a degree. Now, thanks to the internet, it’s all that but on steroids. So many shoulds, not only offline (as there have always been), but now online, too. On top of that, we’ve never been more numb and dumbed down from so much technology on a daily basis:

• Morning: Catch up on your endless notifications.

• As you get ready for the day: Constantly pausing to check social media, listening to music, podcasts, audiobooks, etc.

• At work: Emails, peaking at memes, texting, sudden outrage after checking X, instantly forgetting about it.

• Back home: Having dinner with the family (while on the phone and TV on).

• Night: Watch Netflix (or any other unnecessary and expensive subscription platform) as you doom scroll and pass out.

With all this noise, it’s too easy to drown our inner voice of authenticity, let alone ever develop it. This leads us to chase approval and conform to common opinion because it’s easier than looking inward and digging out the authenticity in you that yearns to be heard.
I believe this is the root cause ―at least for me anyway― of my internal tug-of-war, where I do things because I think I want to, while something inside asks, “Mmm, do you really want to be doing this?” That has led to questioning half my every move, and that to periods of my life dictated by external forces, leaving me restless and unfulfilled.

So, back to the main question. How do you cultivate peace of mind when it comes to your choices? How do you reach a deep sense of tranquility, or “Euthymia”?

“An unwavering and firm power of judgment". That’s a hard yet simple muscle to develop. Identify a path that feels true to you and simply go for it; don’t change your mind when new data enters your field of awareness, for if you do so, you’ll never get far enough in any path you choose. Stay the course, trust your judgment, and know that even though you won’t be on the right path every single time (or that you’re even supposed to be), remind yourself that strictly speaking, you’re still on track—no need to look left or right to compare yourself. Stay in your lane, and be clear on your values, your goals, and your principles—so clear that the babble of common opinion no longer sways you—only your own.