Do the math

Provided you’re not a savant math wizard, you probably grab a pencil and paper to sort out a difficult mathematical equation instead of doing it all in your head. Whether you like math or like me, dreaded it because you just didn’t get it, the fact that math can be pretty hard is not up for debate. Why is math hard? Well, of course, it depends. Is it basic math, algebra, or geometry? How many components or variables does the equation have; how difficult is the equation we’re trying to solve?

Now, how difficult is your life? The average person carries around loads of unsolved life equations. Why am I here? What’s the meaning of my life? Why do I feel so lonely? Why am I so weird? Why is it so hard to make friends? Why am I so afraid about what people think of me? Why do I struggle to say no? Why do I try to please people I don’t really like? Why is it so hard for me to do the things I said I would do? Why am I so bad with money? Why can’t I get rid of this feeling of emptiness?

We go around carrying countless unsolved life equations in our heads, packed with all their confusing components and detailed variables, hoping to somehow crack the code and solve them, all in our heads. How? Why would we put ourselves through such torture? Commutative algebra, differential geometry, trigonometry, these things are hard and the average person wouldn’t crack it in their head. We need to understand the theory behind it and its different components, then write it down to solve it.  Being a good parent, a good partner, having a job you don’t despise, and maintaining good health in a world that makes it so easy to do the expedient and so hard to do the fulfilling. I wager these things are as hard as calculus, if not more. I mean, it’s not that hard to prove this. Start by taking a hard look in the mirror, and then take a look around you.

Unless you make a conscious effort to live intentionally, you’ll only live by chance; a byproduct of your environment. And how does one manage to tailor an environment that favors intentional living? Or better yet, how does one manage to escape being unhealthy, depressed, anxious, addicted, in debt, normal?

As scary as it is, sit down and do the math. Easy? No. Worth it? Yes.

Here’s a simple framework:

• Get pen and paper, set a timer for 20 minutes, and brainstorm all your problems/unsolved life equations

• Circle the top 3 most important equations that if solved, would make all others easier

• Out of the 3, choose the hardest one. Yes, the one you’re avoiding the most

• At this point, just write about that for as long as you can and want to. Don’t judge. Be playful. There’s no right or wrong here. Let your consciousness spill all over the paper. Like you’re catching up with a good friend.

• Now, take a step back and forget about it for the day. Enjoy the feeling of lightness that often comes after emptying your mind. If you feel stressed out, that’s a great sign. It means you’re amid a big life equation.

• Last but not least, come back to it the next day with fresh eyes and continue to the last step, which is to create a detailed plan to solve the equation.

Developing the skill of doing the math to your life equations is only half of it. The other half is actually executing the theory, putting it into practice and course-correcting. Nevertheless, getting in the habit of doing the math to solving your day-to-day life is a rare skill that builds a bridge from the despair of being “normal”, to the joy of being alive. It’s the stepping stone to building a life of your own instead of one assigned to you. The life that you’re seeking is seeking you, and doing the math is your compass.